Buzz: A Second Chance Romance Read online

  “Yeah," she lies. "Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “The Tanya thing.”

  She shrugs. “I guess I’m not in a position to lecture him about other women after what we did, am I?”

  “Don’t be like that.”

  “Like what? It's true.”

  “No, it's not. Two wrongs don’t make a right. If he fucks with you, I swear I’ll ruin more than just his door plaque.”

  “Oh shut up with the alpha stuff, Buzz.”

  “I’m being serious. I’ll deface his face.”

  “Well you can save your breath because he’s not going to fuck with me. I trust him.”

  We stop walking when we reach my front door. “You sure about that?”

  “I’m sure.”

  I look over at his car. “You sounded a little jealous back there.”

  “I know and that’s why I’m pissed off. I’m pissed at myself for doubting him. I’m pissed that because of what happened yesterday, my brain instantly jumped to conclusions. Stupid conclusions. And I’m also pissed at you for being such a shit stirrer.”

  “Me, a shit stirrer?” I chuckle then gesture to the door. “Want to come inside?”

  “No, Buzz.”

  “So you just wanted to walk me to my door? How romantic of you.”

  “Don’t flatter yourself. I just needed some air.”

  “Well feel free to breathe the air directly outside my front door whenever you want.” She rolls her eyes. “And if it’s cold air, I’ll be in here waiting to warm you up. And if it’s hot air, we can jump in the shower to cool off.”

  She shakes her head but laughs. "I should get back."

  “Do I get a kiss goodnight?”

  She raises her eyebrow. “Stop it.”

  “What?” I ask, feigning innocence. “Mason got one.”

  “Goodnight, Buzz,” she repeats as she walks away. After a few steps, she turns back around. “I almost forgot...what does twenty eight mean?”

  I smile but my heart clenches. “To infinity.”

  She looks confused. “I don’t understand.”

  “Two and eight. Swap out the number two with the word to and then the eight is an infinity sign. To infinity.”

  “Oh. I’ve never looked at it like that before.”

  “See.” I wink. “Nobody will crack our code.”

  “So wait...when I see the number twenty eight, I’m supposed to think about what? You calling it out during sex?”

  I laugh. “If that’s what you want to think about then sure, go ahead.” I take a couple of steps forward, closing the gap between us. I know that I shouldn’t touch her when John is no doubt watching us but I can’t help it. I reach out and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “But maybe it can also be a little reminder of how I feel about you. If I ever did anything right in my life, it was opening my heart to you. The second I met you, I knew you were the kind of girl that I could be with forever, to infinity and beyond.” I have to stop myself from pulling her into my arms and begging her to give us another shot. “Nothing has changed for me, Lor.”

  She’s about to reply just as John shouts, “You coming, babe?”

  I glance over and see him standing next to his car. He looks annoyed but mostly terrified which isn’t all that different to how I’m feeling right now. Annoyed at the thought of losing Lori to him…terrified that it might have already happened.

  Something flashes in her eyes and for a split second, I convince myself that she’s about to tell him no but then the moment passes and I’m brought back down to earth with a thud as she sighs and says, “Goodnight, Buzz.”

  “Goodnight, Lor,” I reply, trying not to sound too defeated.

  I watch her walk back to the car.

  Back to him.

  I don’t talk to her for a whole year.

  It’s actually only two weeks but it might as well be a year.

  It feels like a year.

  The days are long and the nights are even longer. I can’t sleep for more than a few hours and I’ve been eating out most evenings as I can’t even bear to be in my own kitchen after what happened in there the other week.

  I’ve gone a lot longer without talking to her, but this time feels different. It feels wrong. I’ve wanted to call her. Hell, I have called her - several times. But I always cancelled the call before it even had the chance to ring.

  On day fifteen, she puts me out of my misery. I’m walking into work when her name flashes across my cell. I take a deep breath before greeting her with, “Twenty eight.” I can’t hold it in any longer.

  “Excuse me?” John replies.

  John.

  “What’s up?” I ask. “Is Lori okay?”

  He laughs. “Of course Lori’s okay. I wouldn’t be calling you if she wasn’t.”

  “Then why are you calling me?”

  A pause and then, “I’m extending an olive branch.”

  I stop walking. “Why?”

  “Because as much as I dislike you, my girlfriend can see something in you which I clearly can’t.”

  I have to stop myself from asking him if he’s referring to my dick. “So you want to braid my hair?”

  “Not quite. I’m inviting you to dinner.”

  “When?”

  “This Thursday. Seven o’clock.”

  “Perfect. My favorite day of the week.”

  “Mason can give you my address. He’s coming too.”

  “Do I need to dress up for you?” I ask sarcastically.

  “I’d prefer it if you wore clothes, yes.”

  “Oh, so you can be funny.”

  “I can be a lot of things.”

  My heart sinks when I hear Lori’s voice somewhere in the background. “You ready to go?” she asks, and I desperately wish that I was the one answering her.

  “I have to go. See you on Thursday,” John says before quickly hanging up.

  I blink and then look around, unsure what to do next. A few seconds later, I realize that I still have my cell pressed up against my ear. When I finally slip it back into my pocket, I wonder how she managed to sound so normal when I feel so...empty.

  Roll on Thursday because I have every intention of finding out.

  “You look miserable,” Mason says as I walk into his office later that day carrying a huge stack of papers.

  I dump them onto his desk. “That’s because I am.”

  “What’s happened?”

  “Lori happened,” I reply as I walk over to the huge floor-to-ceiling windows lining the back wall of his office. “Nothing new.” I peer out at the street some fifty floors below and wonder how I’ve ended up here. How out of billions of people in the world, I’m in love with a woman I can’t have.

  Mason appears next to me and places a hand on my shoulder. “Everything will be okay, Brother. I know it might not feel like it right now, but everything happens for a reason.”

  “My mom has already given me the fate speech but thanks.”

  We’re quiet for a moment before he asks, “Have you spoken to her? To Lori, I mean.”

  I spin around to face him. “No. Have you?”

  “Yeah, she came by the house last night.”

  “How is she?”

  “It’s hard to tell. She says she’s doing okay but she didn’t seem her usual self.” He nudges my shoulder playfully. “She wasn’t staring out of any windows though. I remember a time not too long ago when you mocked me for staring out of a window. What was it that you said? Ah yeah, you said that I was acting like I was in a romcom. Something about needing tissues and Ben and Jerry’s. Do you remember that?”

  “Fuck you.”

  “I have a fiancée for that.”

  “Smug bastard,” I mutter as I walk over to the leather couch and fall down onto it. I run a hand through my hair. “Be honest with me now. Do you think she’s happy with him?”

  “I honestly don’t know. She seems different these days. I sometimes get little glimpses of the old Lori. The one we first
met. You know, before…” he trails off.

  “Before I broke her heart?” I say, finishing his sentence for him.

  He shrugs. “She might be happy with him but I’ve seen her happier.”

  “John called me this morning.”

  He narrows his eyes. “Why?”

  “He’s invited me to dinner at his house on Thursday.”

  “Huh, that’s weird.”

  “Yeah, I think he’s up to something but I haven’t figured out what yet.”

  “We’ve been invited too. He told us it was a game night.”

  “Cool. Lori can watch me beat his ass.”

  “He told me it was a game night for couples.”

  “Well it looks like I’m going to be on a team by myself.” I chuckle. “He seems to have a thing for couples’ nights, doesn’t he? Maybe he’s a swinger.”

  “If he is then he better not look in Sophia’s direction.”

  “Hey, it could be fun. I’d happily fuck his girlfriend for him.”

  He sighs. “Buzz…”

  “What? I’m joking.”

  “Are you though?”

  “Well I’d fuck her every day for the rest of my life if I could but yeah, I said it in jest.”

  He shakes his head. “Just please don’t say anything in jest on Thursday.”

  “I can’t make any promises.”

  “This is a terrible idea.”

  “Chill out. It’s going to be fine.”

  Famous last words.

  I’m scrolling through the black hole otherwise known as Instagram that evening when my cell starts to vibrate in my hand. Twice in one day, I think to myself as Lori’s name flashes across the screen.

  “Have you changed your mind about braiding my hair?” I say in greeting, convinced that it’ll be John again. He’s probably about to un-invite me to his swingers night. “Hello?” I say when nobody replies.

  More silence.

  “Lor? Is that you?”

  A sigh and then, “Yes.”

  My stomach flips at the sound of her voice and before I can even stop myself, I blurt out, “I miss you.”

  “Buzz,” she warns.

  “I’m sorry but it’s true. I miss you so damn much. Do you know how many times I’ve called you before hanging up? Take a guess.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “I stopped at twenty eight. Twenty eight, Lor. It seemed fitting. Please tell me that I’m not crazy. Please tell me that you think of me too and that I’m not alone in this.”

  Another pause and then, “You’re not alone.”

  Thank fuck for that. I stand up and begin to pace up and down. I seem to do it a lot these days. “So how much longer are we going to do this for?”

  “Do what?”

  “Pretend that we’re okay. Ignore our feelings.”

  “You’re not exactly ignoring your feelings, Buzz.”

  “I’d be at your house right now if I wasn’t ignoring my feelings. I’m guessing John told you that he called me earlier?”

  “No, he didn’t. I saw your name at the top of my caller list and asked him about it. He was the only person who was near my phone today.” She takes a deep breath. “Do you know how long the call lasted for?”

  “It wasn’t long. He didn’t say much.”

  “It was twenty eight seconds. When I saw the number next to your name, I thought it was a sign.”

  “A huge sign,” I add. “A huge, flashing, neon sign.”

  “Please don’t come on Thursday,” she whispers.

  My heart sinks. “Why not?”

  “Because even though I stand by everything I said last week, I’m not sure I’ll want you to leave.”

  “Then I won’t. I’ll stay for as long as you want me to. I’ll stay forever, Lor.”

  “Don’t come because you’ll say things like that and I’m a weak woman around you.”

  “Is that supposed to deter me from coming because it’s making me want to see you even more.”

  “I need more time, Buzz.”

  “It’s only Monday; you have three more days.”

  “I’m trying to be serious here.”

  “Me too. I’ve cut contact with you for two weeks. I’m trying to respect you but at the same time, I also need to respect myself. Let me come on Thursday. I’ll be on my best behavior, I promise.”

  “That’s what I’m worried about.”

  I laugh. “Aww come on, what’s the worst that could happen?”

  “Hmmm, I can think of a few things.”

  “Oh, really? Like what?”

  “I’m not about to give you any ideas.”

  “Why not?”

  “I’m sure you can use your imagination.”

  “You’re right, I can.” My voice turns deeper. “Do you want to know what I’m imagining right now?”

  “Goodnight, Buzz.”

  I chuckle. “I’m guessing phone sex is out of the question then?”

  She hangs up and for the first time in fifteen days, I have a genuine smile on my face.

  “Let the games begin!” I announce as I walk through the door to John’s house on Thursday.

  At least, I think it’s John’s house. When nobody responds, I start to worry that I’ve just let myself into one of his neighbor’s houses instead. “Hello?” I shout.

  A door to my left opens and Sophia pokes her head out. “Oh, hey, we didn’t hear the…what the hell are you wearing?” She bursts out laughing.

  “My game night outfit, obviously.” I adjust my visor and look down at my T-shirt which has a picture of a jack and a king from a deck of cards with the word ‘off’ underneath them. “Jacking off…really, Buzz?”

  “Yes, really. You’re just jealous.” I eye her light blue jumpsuit. “What are you wearing?”

  “Normal person clothes.”

  “Just because we’re at a dentist’s house, it doesn’t mean you have to dress like one. You look like you’re wearing scrubs.”

  She raises an eyebrow. “Is that the best you’ve got?”

  “Until I think of a better insult then yes.”

  Mason appears behind her and shakes his head. “Why? Just…why?”

  “Why what? Why am I so awesome? Why does Sophia wish you were more like me? I don’t know, you’ll have to ask her yourself.”

  Sophia rolls her eyes and then glances over my shoulder. I turn around and grin when I see Lori walking towards us. She’s wearing a denim skirt and a T-shirt which says, ‘I don’t even fold my laundry’ with a deck of playing cards underneath.

  “Oh god. Not you as well,” Sophia says. “Why didn’t we get the memo to wear lame T-shirts?”

  I tap the side of my head. “Because the memo only exists up here. You’re just going to have to accept that you’ll never be as cool as us.” I turn to Lori and nod to her shirt, trying my hardest not to stare at her tits. “Fighting talk, huh?”

  She shrugs nonchalantly. “You know me.”

  I grin. “I do know you. I know you very well.”

  “This is going to be a long night,” she says with a sigh.

  My eyes roam her perfect curves. “Oh, I hope so.”

  “I’m taking no shit tonight, Buzz.”

  My dick twitches. “I love it when you’re bossy.”

  “I mean it.”

  “So do I.”

  We all stand in silence for a few seconds and I wish more than anything that I could turn back time to when it was just the four of us. To a time when we weren’t standing in her goddamn boyfriend’s house. I look around. “Nice place he’s got. It’s very…beige.” Beige carpets, beige walls, beige furniture. It makes sense. A boring house for a boring guy. “Where is he, anyway?”

  “He’s gone to pick up some friends.”

  “You mean he actually has some friends?” I wink at her when she scowls. “Hey, do you want to fit in a quickie before he gets back?” Her eyes widen and she’s about to protest when I add, “A quick game of UNO.”

  “Is
that what you’re calling it these days?”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Lori.”

  “Of course you don’t. Been getting a lot of practice in recently, have you? Been playing a lot of UNO?”

  “Just the once, actually. I had an epic game of it a few weeks ago. I can’t wait for the rematch.”

  She blushes and I have to bite the inside of my mouth to stop from laughing. “I’m going to get the snacks.” She holds a hand up to me when I go to follow her. “Watch him,” she instructs Sophia.

  “I’ll try my best,” she replies, pulling me into his beige lounge with his beige walls and beige sofa. “Quit winding her up,” she tells me as she sits down, adjusting the beige cushion behind her.

  “I’m not,” I reply, feigning innocence.

  “Why does it always feel like you and Lori are talking in code?” Mason asks.

  Because we usually are. “No comment,” I reply as I walk over to the fireplace and look up at all the frames hanging above it. Normal people have family photos, but John has dentistry certificates, all eight of them. “What a loser.”

  “Buzz,” Sophia warns. “You can’t talk like that tonight. You’re in his house, remember?”

  “How could I ever forget? All the beige.”

  “Where do you think you’re going?” Sophia asks as I walk over to the door.

  I wink at her. “I’m in the mood for a snack.”

  “Buzz, no.”

  Mason takes hold of her hand as she’s about to stand up. “Let him do what he needs to do.”

  “But…”

  “Before John gets back,” he adds, which seems to do the trick.

  She sighs. “I don’t want to clean up your mess in the morning.”

  “There won't be any mess,” I reply as I leave the room.

  I head in the direction of the kitchen but pause when I see her. I watch as she opens several different cupboards, obviously looking for something. “Why don't you know where to look?"

  She jumps and holds a hand over her chest. “You scared me.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  She opens another cupboard and pulls out a big plastic bowl. “Got it.”

  “Why didn't you know where to find it?”

  “I don’t come here all that much.”