Buzz: A Second Chance Romance Read online

  Lori continues to watch me eat, her eyes darker than they were moments before. After a few seconds, John says something, but I can’t make out the words and apparently neither can she. “Babe?” he says.

  I take a drink.

  “Huh?” she asks, dragging her eyes away from mine.

  “I asked if that’s enough food for you.”

  She eyes the tiny portion. “No. I’m actually hungry.” I laugh as she scoops more food onto her plate. It’s obvious that he doesn’t know how to satisfy her appetite.

  “This is delicious,” Mason says. “Looks like I have a chef on my hands. Now you can cook me dinner every night.”

  “Watch it, we haven’t exchanged any vows yet.”

  Everybody laughs. “I don’t want to make your head any bigger,” Lori says. “But the lamb is cooked to perfection.”

  “You’re right,” I say. “It’s perfect. It reminds me of your tattoo.”

  She frowns. “My tattoo? What are you talking about?”

  “Your favorite book quote.” She knows exactly what I mean but I carry on for John’s sake. “And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.”

  Everybody is silent until John starts to choke on his food. Can’t he at least die quietly?

  Lori blushes and shakes her head in warning as she pats him on the back. He coughs for about half a minute before taking a long drink of water. “I’m okay,” he says. “I just think I misheard Buzz, that’s all.”

  “Nah, you didn’t.”

  He narrows his eyes at me. “Remind me how you two know each other.”

  Sophia sighs. “Oh, you haven’t worked it out yet?” I ask. “We used to date.”

  “We used to be friends,” Lori answers at the same time as me.

  “Friends with benefits,” I say as I pop a potato into my mouth. “You can’t forget that part, sweetheart.”

  “You dated?” John turns to her, looking genuinely surprised. “How long for?”

  “A few months.”

  “Five,” I clarify.

  “Three.”

  “Five in total.”

  “But officially three,” she says.

  I shrug. “Five total.”

  “On and off.”

  I take a drink. “But mostly on.”

  “How long ago was this?” he asks. “How many years ago?”

  I laugh. “Years? It was six months ago. How long have you been dating?”

  “Four months,” he answers.

  “And she hasn’t mentioned me?” I clutch my chest. “I’m offended.”

  “I don’t like to dwell on the past,” she says.

  “Yes, I can see that. You move quickly. I guess it shouldn’t come as a surprise. You always did like it fast.” I’m pretty sure this will go down as the most awkward dinner party in history.

  John clears his throat and begins to stroke her hand. “Well I guess it’s nice that we can all have dinner together. No hard feelings, right?”

  “Absolutely not,” Sophia says as she raises her glass in the air. “To good friends and no hard feelings.”

  We all cheers and take a quick drink before I hold my glass back up in the air. “And to Throwback Thursday, where hard feelings are not only welcomed but necessary.”

  Mason and Sophia half laugh, half cringe as if they have no idea how to react to my toast. John follows their lead and chuckles as he holds his glass up to mine. “To Throwback Thursday but staying well clear of certain ex’s who are no good for us.”

  Lori almost chokes on her drink. I knock my glass against his a little too hard, causing his wine to spill out onto both him and the table. “Oh, I can’t make any promises.” He laughs along with me but looks nervous as he dabs at his jacket.

  Good. He should be.

  Lori stands up. “Excuse us. Buzz, can I have a quick word with you?”

  “Of course.” I wink at John as I follow her out of the room.

  “What the hell are you doing?” she asks as soon as we’re in the kitchen.

  “I almost forgot how sexy you are when you’re angry.”

  “Jesus, can you be serious for one goddamn minute?”

  I groan as I rearrange the contents of my boxer shorts. “Yes, but can you stop being mad at me? You know the effect it has on me.”

  Her eyes go wide. “Oh my god. Are you actually getting turned on by this?”

  “No. I’m getting turned on by you.”

  She glances down at my dick and then huffs as she turns around and walks over to the sink. She hunches over and my gaze falls to her ass, which does nothing to calm the party inside my pants.

  “Why are you here?” she asks.

  “Because I wanted to see you. What are you doing here with him? Why are you dating him?”

  “I don’t have to answer any of your questions.”

  “He’s not your type.”

  She turns around to look at me. “And what is my type?”

  “Me.” She rolls her eyes. “What? You know it’s true. Tall, toned and tats. My tattoos used to drive you crazy, remember?”

  “Used to, Buzz. Used to.” I unzip my trousers. “What the hell are you doing?” She can act like she doesn’t want me anymore, but her eyes are full of desire. I pull down my jeans and boxer shorts until the tattoos just below my hip bones are showing. Her eyes continue south. “You always used to say these were your favorite tattoos of mine.”

  She closes her eyes and when she reopens them, they’re sad. “Again – used to. I used to say a lot of things, Buzz. We both used to.”

  “Why are you with him, Lori? I’m being serious. I want to know why. Name three things you like about him.”

  “He’s nice. And trustworthy.”

  “That’s two things.”

  “He’s a nice guy, Buzz.”

  “That’s still only two. See, you can’t even list three things.”

  She sighs. “Do you really want to do this? Is this how you want to play it?” I raise an eyebrow. “Fine. Three things. He’s nice, he’s trustworthy and he’s great in bed.”

  I hold on to the countertop to steady myself. “Bullshit.”

  “What?”

  “A guy like him doesn’t know his way around a woman’s body.”

  “A guy like him?”

  “A sap. He’s a dentist, for fucks sake.”

  She crosses her arms. “You’re right, he is a dentist and he has exceptional oral skills.”

  Ouch. The thought of another man touching her, tasting her, makes me crazy. I don’t hide it very well as she sighs. “Let’s not do this. Let’s not hurt each other any more than we already have, okay?”

  “It’s a little too late for that.”

  “It’s a little too late for any of this, Buzz. Six months too late.”

  “It’s never too late for us.”

  She frowns. “For us? Have you heard yourself? There is no us. I haven’t heard from you in six months. Why now? Why all of a sudden do you think you can come here and start quizzing me about my new relationship? What’s changed?”

  “Another man is in your bed, that’s what has changed.”

  “So you don’t want me, you just don’t want anybody else to have me. Is that what it is?”

  “You know that’s not what it is. I’ve always wanted you and I’ve never wanted you around other men. That’s the only reason we broke up - because you wouldn’t leave your job. Because trapping other men was more important than keeping me.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “Well that’s what happened.”

  “You gave me an ultimatum, that’s what happened. You didn’t trust me, that’s what happened. And your jealously and ego were more important than keeping me, that’s what happened.”

  I slam my fist down on the counter. “Damn it, Lori. That’s not true.”

  She takes a step closer to me. “I didn’t choose my job over you.”

  We stare at each other, our chests rising and falling in unison. “Tell me something.
Is he okay with what you do?” She looks down at her feet. “You’ve got to be kidding me. He doesn’t know?”

  “I…I don’t…”

  “Is everything okay?” Sophia asks. “I heard a bang.”

  “Everything’s fine,” Lori replies, keeping her eyes on mine.

  “I’m glad you seem to think so.”

  Sophia sighs. “John’s in the next room. I don’t think this is the time or the place.”

  “Oh, come on,” I say. “We all know he’s just the rebound guy.”

  “I’m sure you know all about rebounds. I dread to think of how many women you’ve slept with in the last six months. Have you successfully worked your way through everybody in San Francisco? Is that why you’ve come back? Are you doubling up now?”

  I narrow my eyes. “I haven’t had sex with anybody since you, Lor.”

  She laughs. “That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all year. Do you honestly expect me to believe that?”

  “Yes, I do, because it’s the truth. I would never lie to you.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong because you did lie to me.”

  “When?”

  “You told me you’d never leave me.” Her eyes begin to fill with tears.

  “Come on now, don’t get upset,” Sophia says as she takes hold of Lori’s hand. “This is the first time you’ve seen each other since you broke up. Emotions are high. We all need to slow down.” I take a step backwards and Sophia’s eyes shoot down to my jeans which are still unzipped. “We need to slow it right down. Do you think it’s a good idea to go back out there?”

  “No, it isn’t,” Lori answers for me. “Just go home, Buzz. Or better yet, go and find one of your ex’s to spend your beloved Throwback Thursday with. Lord knows there are enough of them.”

  “There’s one standing right in front of me.”

  “And there are hundreds of others out there.”

  “I don’t want anybody else.”

  She throws her hands in the air and turns to Sophia. “Have you heard him? You don’t want me, Buzz. You’re just horny. You’re confusing your sexual frustration with actual feelings. Go and fuck somebody to get it out of your system then we can all move on with our lives.”

  I narrow my eyes. “Is that what you really want?”

  She hesitates before storming out of the room.

  “She didn’t answer the question,” I say to Sophia.

  “Buzz…”

  “We both know that she’s not happy with him.”

  She sighs. “But she wants to be and that’s got to count for something. If she didn’t like him, she wouldn’t be wasting either of their time. And as much as you want to believe it, she isn’t a rebound kind of girl. I’ve always rooted for you guys but it just didn‘t work out. Maybe it’s time to take a step back and let John have his shot.”

  “I can’t just sit back and watch.”

  “Then don’t. Don’t watch.”

  “I can’t keep my eyes closed forever.”

  “Not forever. Just until you’re ready.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “Like I said, I can’t keep my eyes closed forever.”

  “Oh, Buzz,” she says, her eyes filling with concern. “I didn’t even realize you felt this way. I mean, I know you both had a hard time after the break-up but I didn’t know you felt this strongly. None of us did. No wonder Lori’s so confused and caught off guard tonight. Why didn’t you say something sooner? You could have tried to work things out.”

  “That’s why I’m here now.”

  “But it’s been six months.”

  “Believe me, I know. I’ve felt worse with each month. I drank the first few weeks away and then my therapist told me to put some distance between us.”

  “Your therapist?”

  “I’ve been seeing one every week.”

  “You should have said something. Does Mason know any of this?”

  “No.”

  “Buzz, it’s not good to keep everything to yourself.”

  “Why do you think I hired a therapist?”

  “I wouldn’t have let you come tonight if I knew you still had so many feelings. Jesus, it must be horrible for you to see them together.”

  “It is.” I sigh. “Tell me his last name and I’ll leave.”

  “Why do you want to know?” she asks, one eyebrow raised.

  “I want to run a background check on him so I can at least sleep at night.”

  “Buzz, no. You don’t need to know any more than you already do.”

  “Soph, please. Let me just check the guy out. It’s for her own safety.”

  “Then you’ll back off?”

  “If that’s what she wants.”

  She crosses her arms. “It’s Crown.”

  “You’re kidding me?”

  “No?”

  “John Crown. Is that why he became a dentist? What a loser.”

  “Buzz,” she warns.

  I hold my hands up. “Just saying.”

  “Please don’t do anything stupid.”

  “Would I?” I lean in and kiss her on the cheek. “Thanks for tonight. The lamb was delicious.” I wink. “And I didn’t even have to fake it. Tell Mason I’ll see him tomorrow.” I begin to walk away. “And tell Lori how great I am.” She tries to hide her grin as I slip out of the room.

  I close my apartment door and then bang my head against it several times.

  Tonight was a lot harder than I was expecting. Seeing Lori with another man killed me. It extinguished a fire inside of me but also ignited another - one which will destroy everything in its path until she’s back in my arms. I feel deflated yet determined. She still loves me, I can feel it. Hell, I could see it. John must be blind if he couldn’t see it too.

  I drag my hands down my face as I try not to think about her going home with him. Maybe I should just get it over with and tell him about her job. Tell him that she gets paid to expose cheating men. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be okay with that. I’m pretty sure most men wouldn’t be. I have no idea why she’s started a new relationship when she can’t even be honest with them.

  I take a deep breath and walk over to the sofa, which will be my bed for the night. As fucked up as it sounds, I can’t even face looking at a bed tonight. Not when I know that Lori will be warming another man’s. It’s almost enough to make me throw up.

  I fall back onto the sofa and pull my cell out of my pocket. I do a quick Google search of his name and it takes 0.05 seconds to find out where he works.

  Looks like I’ll be taking a little trip to the dentist tomorrow.

  Mason sighs. “For the hundredth time - no, she didn’t talk about you after you left. Not to me, anyway.”

  “So does that mean she spoke to Sophia about me?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Don’t lie to me.”

  “I’m not lying. The world doesn’t revolve around you, you know.”

  “It doesn’t?”

  “Not at all.” He looks at his watch. “Come on, let’s go and get some lunch.”

  “I’m skipping lunch today.”

  He raises an eyebrow. “You never skip lunch. What’s wrong with you? Are you sick?”

  “No. I have an appointment.”

  “An appointment for what?”

  I shrug. “It’s personal. Nothing important.”

  “Ahhh, I think I know what it is.”

  “You do?”

  “Yeah.” He lowers his voice. “STD check. Or is it for treatment?”

  I throw my pen at him. “Fuck you! I don’t have an STD.”

  “Well the last time you had a personal appointment…”

  “It was one time, man. One time. Plus, it was about three years ago.”

  He holds his hands up in innocence. “Do you want me to get you any lunch while you go to your top secret, personal appointment?” He uses air quotes. “The one which isn’t anything to do with STD’s?”

  “You’re a dick.”

  “Yes, they’
ll probably want to see your dick. That’s how it works.”

  “And how would you know, asshole?”

  He scratches his chin. “Hmmm, yeah, they might want to see your asshole too.”

  I stand up to leave. “I quit.”

  “Hallelujah! I’ve been waiting for this moment forever.” He pushes the intercom button on his phone. “Natalia, can you arrange to have Buzz’s office packed up, please? And could you also type up a job description for his replacement? He doesn’t do much so it won’t take you very long.”

  “You’re a shitty friend.”

  He laughs. “I’ll pick you up your usual chicken salad.”

  “Nah, don’t bother. There’s a sandwich shop next door to the dentist.”

  “The dentist? That’s where you’re going?” His eyes widen when realization kicks in. “Buzz…no…”

  I open the door. “Laters.”

  “Don’t do it.”

  “Do what? I’m due a check-up.”

  “It’s not going to change anything.”

  “Maybe not.” I shrug. “But at least my teeth will be whiter.”

  A little bell chimes to signal my arrival. A pretty blonde receptionist looks up at me and smiles. Oh, this should be a piece of cake.

  “Hi there, can I help you?”

  I look at her name tag and try my best not to stare at her tits. “I sure hope so, Hannah.”

  “Do you have an appointment?”

  “Actually, I was just passing by and thought I’d try my luck. Do you have any cancellations for today? I have a spare couple of hours.”

  “I’m pretty sure Dr Crown is fully booked for today.”

  “Aww, come on,” I say, looking her up and down. “I’m sure you can fit me in.”

  She giggles. “I’ll see what I can do. Would you like to take a seat?”

  I sit on the edge of her desk and give her my best cheeky grin. “I’d love to.”

  “He has an emergency appointment available in about an hour, right before his lunch break.” She lowers her voice. “I’m not supposed to use them unless absolutely necessary.”

  “I won’t tell if you don’t.”

  She smiles. “What’s your name? I’ll find you on the system and get you booked in.”

  Don’t bother; you’re not going to find me. “Buzz.”

  “That’s an unusual name.”

  “Have you ever seen the movie Toy Story?” She’s probably way too young.