Buzz: A Second Chance Romance Page 8

  Six hours later, she came back.

  I groan when there’s a knock at my front door. I’ve just spent the last twenty minutes browsing the internet for the perfect librarian porn and was about to start when I was rudely interrupted. I consider ignoring them but whoever it is knocks again, as well as ringing the doorbell.

  I stand up and adjust my boxers in an attempt to hide my raging hard-on but fail miserably. I reach for my pants and begrudgingly put them back on as I glance at the two sexy librarians on my laptop screen.

  “Okay, okay, I’m coming!” I yell as the knocking gets louder. “Well, I will be as soon as you leave me in peace,” I mutter under my breath. Haven’t they heard of cell phones? By the time I reach the door, the knocking has turned into full-on banging. “Calm the fuck down!” I shout as I turn the lock and push down on the handle.

  “I will not calm down!” Lori replies as she pushes past me, storming straight into the kitchen. My dick twitches at the sight of her still wearing her work clothes. Down, boy. The fake librarian pornstars have nothing on her. I close the door and find her pacing up and down. “This ends now!” she says.

  “What does?”

  She gestures between us. “This. All of it. Everything was fine until yesterday.”

  “Care to elaborate?”

  “Stop threatening John. He’s done nothing wrong.”

  I roll my eyes. “I didn’t threaten anybody.”

  “Yes, you did. He told me.”

  “Oh, he told you so that must mean it’s true.”

  “How dare you go into his work and threaten him!”

  “I didn’t threaten him. And I have every right to go to his public place of work.”

  “No, you don’t! Stay away from him. It’s bad enough that you came to my work but don’t involve him too. Did it make you feel big and tough by threatening him?”

  “For fuck sake, Lori! How many times do I have to tell you? I didn’t threaten him and if he told you that I did then he’s a lying piece of shit.”

  “Why the hell would he lie about it?”

  “Because he’s trying to make me look bad and because he’s scared of losing you.” And he can probably sense that it’s about to happen.

  “And what about the vandalism?”

  “Wait, what?”

  “You vandalized his office.” I can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous that sounds. He’s really gone to town on playing the victim card. “I’m glad you think that this is funny.”

  “It’s laughable. I didn’t vandalize his office.”

  “For a start, you threw his photo frame in the bin.”

  “A photo of you! One that I took! So technically that was mine to do whatever the hell I wanted with it.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Oh, he didn’t tell you which photo was inside the frame?” She looks confused. “He printed it off your Facebook. The picture where you’re sitting on my bed. You know - the one when you’re half naked. He has no right to have that on his desk.”

  She blushes. “What about his door?”

  “His door?”

  “He said you damaged his office door. What did you do? Kick it? Punch it?”

  Oh. I try my best to keep a straight face. “No…I altered his name plaque.”

  “What do you mean you altered it?”

  “I’ll admit, it was childish of me. But he threatened to call the cops after the photo thing, so I was pissed off.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I changed his name from Crown to Clown.” She rolls her eyes. “What? I think it suits him better.”

  “Buzz…”

  I hold my hands up. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have. Just leave him out of this from now on.”

  “You’ve only been together for a few months and he’s secretly framing photographs of you. You’ve got to admit, that’s pretty fucking creepy.”

  “Well you and I have been broken up for six months but you’re stalking my new boyfriend. You’ve got to admit, that’s pretty creepy too.”

  “I hate hearing you call him that.” Now I’m the one who starts to pace up and down. “Please don’t refer to him as that when you’re around me.”

  “What? My boyfriend?”

  I flinch. “Yes. I hate it.”

  “But that’s what he is.”

  “I’m well aware of that. Did you purposely look for a guy who was the complete opposite of me in every single way?”

  She folds her arms across her chest and lifts her chin up. “Maybe. Maybe I needed something different. You broke up with me because of my job. You didn’t love me enough to see past it. Excuse me for not wanting to go through that again.”

  “That’s bullshit.”

  “And then to top it all off, you cut me out of your life for six months. Not once did you call to check how I was doing. Not once.”

  “I’ve been trying to sort my shit out.” And trying to better myself for you. The truth is that I’ve always been so sure that we would end up back together that I never felt the need to worry about other men. I wrongly assumed that we would both stay single until we reunited. And in my head, it was always a matter of when, not if.

  “And how has that worked out for you?”

  I shrug. “Only time will tell.”

  “Well I refuse to be your guinea pig. I’m getting too old to play games. I want a life with somebody. Not just great sex or a couple of good years together. I want commitment. I want honesty and loyalty.”

  “I’ve always been honest and loyal.”

  “You joked about white picket fences last night but that’s what I want. I want a cute little house with a swing out on the front porch. I want marriage and babies. I want it all, Buzz.”

  There goes my hard-on. I run a hand across my jaw. “I might want that too, some day.”

  “You might…but you might not. I’m edging closer to thirty. I don’t want to waste any more time.”

  “So you’re settling down with the first guy who wants kids? Come on, Lori. I know you. You’ve always followed your heart, not your brain. You want the fireworks and the fairytale. You don’t want a sperm donor. This is your life you’re talking about, not a business venture.”

  “You’re right. I do want the fairytale. I live for the happy ever after. Books are my life. But do you know what I realized the other day? That I’m always attracted to the alpha’s. I always fall hard for the bad boys. I never give gentlemen enough credit. But I’ve finally accepted that fiction isn’t the same as real life. We don’t always get the whirlwind romance and that’s okay. I don’t need the drama and plot twists to have a fulfilling relationship. If I want my happy ever after, I have to go out and get it. I have to work for it. Maybe it’ll be a slow burn instead of insta-love. Maybe it’ll be gentle kisses instead of the hottest sex of my life. Maybe it won’t be the happy ever after that I always imagined but it’ll still be mine.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “The hottest sex of your life, huh?”

  “See. You can’t be serious.”

  “I did it on purpose. I was just trying to make you laugh.” And trying to erase the image of somebody else giving you gentle kisses. “I’m sorry. I’m listening to what you’re saying. I’m taking it all in.”

  “I can see a future with John. I can picture what my life would look like.”

  “And you can’t picture your life with me?”

  Her eyes turn sad. “No, I can’t. I don’t even know what tomorrow would look like with you and that scares the absolute crap out of me.”

  “Then let me show you. Let’s make our future together.”

  She shakes her head. “You told me that you don’t believe in marriage.”

  “I don’t. I don’t see why a piece of paper makes any difference. I saw all the shit it caused my mom and dad and then I watched Mason’s marriage fall apart. I saw how it chipped away at him until he was a shell of a man. I don’t see w
hy so much importance is placed on marriage these days when divorces are handed out so willingly. What’s the fucking point?”

  “It shows commitment to a person.”

  “I can show commitment in other ways. I could give you a life more beautiful than any wedding.”

  Her eyes fill with tears. “I should go. I shouldn’t even be here.”

  “Why didn’t you just call me to tell me all this?”

  She frowns. “What?”

  “You could have called me but you didn’t. You came here for a reason. You wanted to see me again.” She opens her mouth to reply but closes it again. “What do you need from me, Lori?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You need something from me but I can’t figure out what. Did you come here for closure? Do you need me to end it for good? Or is it the opposite? Do you need me to make the first move? Do you need me to remind you how good we are together?”

  “I…I don’t know.” Her eyes turn sad. “I don’t know anymore, Buzz.”

  “Listen to your heart.”

  She sighs. “It’s not that simple.”

  “Yes, it is. What do you want, Lori?”

  “I want it all.”

  I take a step closer to her. “You want it all?” She nods. “Then take it. Take what you want. Take what you need. Do what you’ve got to do.”

  “But I want different things from different people. If I take what I need, people are going to get hurt.”

  “And if you don’t take what you need, people are still going to get hurt, including yourself.”

  We stand still, looking at each other in silence for what feels like minutes until she finally says, “I should go.” My heart sinks. The most fucked up part is that I can tell she doesn’t even want to leave. She glances towards my bedroom. “I’m sure there are plenty of girls who would love to warm your bed.” She looks down at her feet. “I meant what I said last night. You should get it out of your system. It might help you to move on.”

  “You’re the only one I want in there.”

  “We have some great memories, let’s not taint them.”

  I take a step closer to her. “I don’t want you to be a memory.”

  “Then maybe we could work on being friends.”

  “We could never be friends.”

  “Well that’s your choice.”

  “No, it’s not. I don’t have a choice in any of this. If I had a choice, I would choose to be with you but you’re choosing him.”

  “If you had a choice, you would choose me?” She shakes her head. “You had a choice six months ago and you didn’t choose me. It’s too late. You can’t pick and choose when you want me, Buzz.”

  She goes to walk away but I pull her back to me. “I’ve never stopped wanting you. I thought I was doing the right thing. I knew that I wouldn’t have been able to handle your job. It would have driven me crazy. I didn’t want to ruin what we had.”

  “But you ruined what we had by breaking up with me! Why can’t you see that?” She shrugs out of my grasp and walks over to the door. “We’re done here.”

  “That’s a lie and we both know it. We’ll never be done, Lori. This is just another cliffhanger.”

  “Call it whatever you want but please stay away from John.”

  “Is that where you’re going now? To be with him? Tell him I say hello, won’t you? Oh, and when he’s taking off your clothes, be sure to tell him how much they turned me on, especially your skirt.” My eyes roam her body. “Tell him that when I’m jerking off tonight, I’ll be thinking about you wearing that skirt and nothing else. In my head, I’ll be hitching it up around your thighs, bending you over and fucking you as hard as I can.”

  “Stop it.”

  “What? I’m just being honest with you. That’s what you want, right? Honesty? What’s the other one you mentioned? Loyalty? I was actually planning on watching some librarian porn, but I’ll stay loyal to you and just think about you instead.”

  “You’re disgusting.”

  “Will you think about me too? Will you think about me later while he’s fucking you?”

  “Don’t talk to me like that.”

  “Why? You used to love it when I talked dirty to you. Does John do it too? Hey, do you ever pretend that you’re fucking me instead of him? Actually, I’m guessing it’s always over too quickly for it to be believable.”

  “Fuck you.”

  “That’s a great idea.” I take a step closer so that our bodies are flush. “Fuck me. Go ahead. I’m all yours.” Her eyes widen when my dick twitches against her stomach. “It’s a shame you can’t say the same thing back to me.” I’ve never seen her look so pissed off and turned on at the same time. I stare at her, silently daring her to make a move and desperately urging her to follow her heart.

  But she doesn’t.

  Instead, she listens to her fears and society’s shitty expectations of her and without saying a word, she throws the door open and storms outside. I watch as she marches over to a silver Porsche and climbs inside. Unless she’s bought herself a new car, I’m guessing it belongs to the dentist. I glance at the registration plate and groan when sure enough I see that it’s personalized.

  ‘C12OWN’

  What a pretentious asshole. I don’t care if he wants to get married and have children…she still doesn’t belong with him. She leans forward and presses her head against the steering wheel. I want to go out to her. Hell, I want to lie down in front of the damn car so that she can’t leave. Maybe I could just slit his tires instead. She rubs the back of her neck, which she does when she’s stressed, and I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t make me feel better to see that she’s struggling with her decision to leave.

  She finally starts the engine and I force myself to close the door. There’s no way I can watch her drive away knowing she’s on her way back to another man.

  I walk into the kitchen and calmly pour myself a glass of whiskey before downing it in one. Then I pour another. I take a few deep breaths and try to trick myself into thinking that I’m a mature adult. It lasts for all of thirty seconds before I launch the glass against the opposite side of the room. I curse as tiny shards fly in all different directions. The way I’m feeling right now, they might as well be stabbing me right through the heart.

  I can’t lose her.

  I stare at the glass on the floor and feel a weird kind of disconnect with the world. I’m no longer a participant but a spectator, watching my life head down the wrong path.

  After a couple of minutes, I begin to move around on autopilot. There’s nothing I can do other than attempt to pick up the pieces, both literally and figuratively. I throw some of the bigger shards away just as I hear my neighbor pull up outside. I’m relieved she wasn’t home five minutes ago because I sure as shit don’t want to be the reason why an eighty-year-old lady has a heart attack. Surely my own broken heart meets the quota for the street.

  I slice my finger when there’s a quiet knock at my door. I stand up and suck the blood as I walk over to answer it. My stomach flips as I open the door. It’s not my neighbor. It’s Lori. She came back. I try not to get my hopes up. Maybe she’s broken down. Maybe she left something here. Or maybe she realized what a huge fucking mistake she was making by choosing John. I open the door wider and her eyes turn hungry.

  “Remind me,” she says, referring to my earlier comment. “Remind me how good we are together.”

  I don’t need to be told twice. I’ll remind her so hard that she won’t ever forget it. I close the gap between us and take her face in my hands. When I kiss her, it feels like we’ve never been apart. It feels right. Our hands work quickly but our tongues work even quicker. I walk backwards, pulling her with me as she kicks the door shut.

  I push her up against the kitchen wall and she grabs my ass, pulling me even closer to her. She moans when my dick presses against her and I almost forgot just how much I love all the different sounds that she makes. I pull away and angle her neck to the
side before sucking and biting like I’m some kind of starved cannibal. I need her so bad. I’m going to explode if I can’t get inside of her soon.

  I rip open her blouse and she squeals as little gold buttons pop off in every direction. I stare at her lacy bra for about half a second before it joins the buttons on the floor. I take a nipple into my mouth and suck it as hard as I can while rolling the other one between my fingers. I pause but only long enough to switch to the other one. My dick throbs as a feral moan escapes her lips. I can’t wait any longer. I drop to my knees and keep my eyes on hers as I slowly push her skirt up as high as it will go. After draping her leg over my shoulder, I trail gentle kisses up her thigh and when I reach her panties, I can feel just how much she wants this. I yank them to the side and she gasps as I push two fingers inside of her. I go as deep as I can and find the spot which men like John won’t even know exists. I circle her clit at the same time, starting slow before increasing the pace and when her moaning gets louder and her body begins to squirm, I stop. I chuckle when she cries out in protest. “I forgot how impatient you are,” I say as I get to my feet and carry her over to the kitchen counter, not giving a fuck about the broken glass on the floor.

  “And I forgot how much of a tease you are,” she replies.

  I place her onto her back then pull her towards me so that her ass is on the edge. She hooks her legs around my waist and yanks me forward, positioning my dick exactly where it needs to be. I grin as I grab hold of her legs then bend down until they’re wrapped around my neck instead. “If I’m a tease then I suppose I should live up to my name.” She groans in frustration, but I silence her by kissing her wet pussy. She threads her hands through my hair and begins to move against my mouth as my tongue flicks up and down her opening. I take it slow, savoring the taste of her and wishing that this moment could last forever. I alternate between sucking her clit and fucking her with my tongue and it’s not too long until she’s teetering on the edge.

  “Please, Buzz,” she moans.

  “Please what?” I ask, grinning.

  “Make me come.”

  My dick throbs when she says my three favorite words of all time. “Oh, I intend to, but you have an important decision to make first.”